Liar, Liar

During elections campaigns keen politicians dust off old promises for new presentations: same sins, different faces. Try as they might, however, politicians are not allowed to participate in the annual Burlington Liars Club Championship, open for amateur liars only; it’s not a lie; politicians may not partake.

The Liars Championship is held toward the end of the year but anytime is a good time to start practicing… unless, of course, you possess the talent of fibbing.

As Gordon Swicky of Oshkosh, Wisconsin does. World Champion Liar of 2000, Zwicky told that while on a trip to Florida with his wife, they saw a sign stating, “clean rest rooms ahead.” Two months after leaving Wisconsin, the couple arrived in Florida after having cleaned 450 rest rooms with 267 rolls of paper towels, 3 cases of toilet bowl cleaner, and 86 bottles of window cleaner because they believe in obeying all road signs.

Runner-up Pat Hanrahan of Kewaunee, Wisconsin said that the highly polished chrome on the bumper on his truck is completely worn off because of the reflected image of the road rubbing on it mile after mile.

Otis Patton of Richmond, Virginia told of what he believed to be a record rainfall. It rained so hard that, within an hour, rain filled the bed of his full-sized pickup truck level full of water even though the tailgate was down.

World Champion Liar of 2006, 15-year-old James Wilberg of Franklik, Wisconsin, won with the well-known quip: “There are three kinds of people in the world; those who are good at math, and those who are not.”

The Burlington Liars Club was founded in 1929 by newspaper reporter Otis Hulett. But that may also be a lie, as reported by the experts themselves, the Burlington Liars Club. Perhaps Hulett’s friendly rival and first president of the club, Mannel Hahn, was the founder.

If you have a tall tale to tell and you’re not a politician, mail your fib with the $1 entry fee to:

Burlington Liars’ Club, P.O. Box 156, Burlington, WI 53105, USA.